Easter Bunny

The Easter Bunny must live an easy life. Kids worship you, and all you have to do is fill some plastic eggs with candy and hide them. That's the real Easter bunny. What about the knock-offs who sit in malls getting pictures taken with little sobbing children? Is their life easy? Well I can speak from experience that life as a mall bunny is no walk in the park. First of all, the bunny costume smells HORRIBLE! Many different body odors mixed together into one plastic head, and furry body make for a odorous experience. Second of all there is no air to breath as the only ventilation is a small mesh opening in the mouth. Third of all is the fact that the only place to breath through is also the only place to see through so you have to pick between breathing and watching where you are going. Fourth is that all the teenage looser girls think that you are a boy bunny and want to get their picture taken on your lap. Fifth is all the punky looser boys think that you are a girl bunny, and though they are right, getting pictures with a boy on your lap is just as bad as a girl. Sixth of all is that half of the little children that come through to see you are deathly scared of you, and you have to physically force them to stay on your lap for as long as it takes to get a decent picture. I could go on for ever on how hard a bunny's life is, but I won't bore you with that.
Anyway, the point is what persuaded me to get into the bunny suit in the first place. Why did I put myself through Easter Bunny hell? Actually that is a very good question. One that has an answer that isn't even clear to me. I think the main reason is that I need money to finish paying for the AWESOME trip I took to New York last week. I get payed 10 dollars an hour to be a bunny so it is sort of worth it. Another reason is that I like that no one knows who I am. I can be as crazy as I want to be, and I won't get judged for it. People will think that the South Towne Mall in Sandy has an insane bunny, not that I am insane. Those are the only two reasons I can think of. Maybe I should rethink this whole bunny job thing...